A terrible, totally unexpected thing happened to me last year. My 17-year marriage broke up and I couldn't put it back together again despite trying everything short of brute force.
I had to leave the home that I'd hoped to have as my forever home, a five-acre sanctuary for various aging pets. When I finally I drove away, I had to leave behind my three shelter dogs, my closest, dearest companions (that's Buster, my 13-year-old Great Dane/Border Collie mix, in the photo). I went north to find an apartment, a job, a new life ...
After much searching, I finally found an apartment I could afford. The lease agreement said pets were permitted on a case-by-case basis. I was overjoyed; maybe I'd be able to get one of my dogs ... maybe.
But then I thought about what breaking up the pack would mean to the dogs. And what about taking free-roaming dogs used to five acres of paradise to call their own, and making them apartment-bound hounds? The dogs are aging, too; would they be able to hold off on doing their business until I could get them out the door, down a long hallway, to an elevator, down five stories, across a patio, up a flight of stairs and to the "pet area" defined in the apartment bylaws?
My wondering was cut short when I discovered that the building had a weight limit on pets: 25 lbs., max. None of my dogs weighed that little. But still, maybe I could sneak in the female dog who weighs about 56 lbs.? I could be sneaky if I had to.
So I called the landlord's property manager and asked what having a pet would entail. "We'd have to amend the lease," the chilly woman said. "And I wonder if you're really ready to cover the costs of things your pet could damage. I mean, they might have an accident on the wall-to-wall carpet and you'd have to change the whole thing. That's hundreds of dollars. And then there's scratching at the door. And nuisance barking. And if it's a cat you want, they can spray even if they are altered. Did you consider all that?"
I told her that I had considered all those things but that I missed having my dogs -- or something alive -- in my life.
"Well, it'll be a $350 deposit for a pet and we'll have to get the lease amended and you'll be responsible for all the damage a pet can cause."
I gave up thinking about my dogs, not because of the money -- or because of the potential damage a pet might cause, but because I couldn't see making an aged dog leave her home on five acres, her pack and the familiarity of my ex just because I felt lonely. My new job does have me away from home for extended periods of time -- too long to leave an old dog alone. When I pet-sat a friend's dog in my apartment, that dog would howl like a lonesome coyote whenever I took the garbage down the hall -- for a mere two minutes!
I guess I can't have a dog in my life. Not right now. Still, I can't stop thinking about wanting to foster or adopt SOMETHING. Cats? Two, maybe, so they aren't lonely. (See Jesse, pictured above, and Hope, pictured right, two potential adoptees at Homeward Trails Animal Rescue in Arlington, VA.) Would that be a $700 pet deposit? What about a bird? Or two birds?Life without a companion animal just doesn't feel like life to me.
I didn't have a pet for four years. I have the best husband anyone could ask for, so it's not like I'm lonely or deprived. But, life without a dog just didn't seem complete. Then I got Archie. He's only six pounds...but dogs are dogs, no matter how big or how small. He plays, steals my socks, greets me at the door, and seems always genuinely thrilled to be in my company -- just like my good old 90 pound friend, Pudgy (my late chocolate lab). So don't rule out a dog...just think small. If you look, you'll find the right friend for you.
As for divorce...been there, done that, too. I'm sure many of your friends and family have already told you that pain will pass too. There's always light at the end of the tunnel. For me, the light was Ed. As with pets, if you look, you'll find an Ed too.
Life without a companion animal just doesn't feel like life to me.
That is such a true statment !!!! I lived in a apartment after my relationship failed and had to leave my dogs too! . I am so sorry for you. I know how you heart is breaking !!!! I was 12 years dogless but now have a house with 2 dogs and have a rescue adortion pending.I wished you lived closer to me ,I would share my dogs with you . They just make my life complete!! Hang in there things will turn around and you will have dogs in your life again. Cathy